A Tribute -- Thabiso, you are amazing!

Thabiso, the young orphan whose family we've been helping out, is one of the most exceptional young men I know. I'm thinking of him because Benno, our young neighbor, Bokang, and I just got back from visiting Thabiso and his family. Thabiso is a fine example of a young African man who has chosen to carry a huge burden of responsibility for his family. He is COMMITTED!

In contrast to Thabiso, I remember a young fellow that I taught in Alberta saying that his dad had advised him that if he ever got a girl pregnant, to start walking in the opposite direction and not look back! Quite the advice. It stuck with me.

And now I see Thabiso, a young man with so much potential. Now Thabiso isn't in the same situation, but he HAS been handed a huge responsibility, and unlike this guy who was advised to walk--run away, Thabiso is taking the burden. I can't help thinking that he could be a Machabeng student, that he is likely bright enough to do it; but he will never do that because he has a huge load of responsibilities that he will not abandon. For that I have so much respect! Thabiso does have an older brother, apparently, that left the family, but Thabiso has chosen to be responsible for the welfare of his grandmother, his two sisters, his niece, and now his sister's new baby. What a load! I cannot imagine. As I've known Thabiso over the months, I have seen the huge burden of care that he carries slowly lift. Surprisingly! And paradoxically, since it has gotten heavier; but when we first met Thabiso I think the thing was that he was carrying it largely on his own, and now he knows that there are a few people, like us, that will help him carry at least a bit of the burden.

Yesterday Thabiso dropped by to leave a message for Ntate Benno that Matseliso, his sister, had had her baby. Earlier than we'd thought! So I said we'd try to come by and see the baby, and today we did. Again, on this visit I was reminded of all the responsibilities Thabiso has: As stated, he supports his whole family in addition to being a student. He's determined to finish his High School, and this vacation he also took on a small business (corner fruit stand) and made M350 (That's about $50. Canadian) and was thrilled and proud of his profit. Ironically, the hospital bill for Matseliso was M450, and so the money goes! I have no idea how they make ends meet, I have no idea how he sustains hope and good cheer, but he's happier a lot more lately. He's happy that the baby is healthy; he's happy that his grandmother is enjoying the bigger house they are now in (Oh, it is still so small, but SO MUCH better than the one they were in!). It is reassuring that Thabiso can find joy and happiness despite his heavy load.

As we drove home from Thabiso's I asked our neighbor, Bokang, "It seems to me, Bokang, that Thabiso is a pretty exceptional young man for all the responsibilities he has taken. Do you agree?" Without hesitation her response was in the affirmative; so it's not just from my cultural perspective, but from a Basotho perspective as well.

You know, Dylan has talked to us about the failure of men in South Africa--about their absence in the family--yet Thabiso is such a fabulous example of a young man who has not chosen to desert but is taking on responsibilities, and indeed responsibilities so much bigger than any other 20 year old I know!

Closer to home...

...as the saying goes. In the last two weeks HIV Aids has moved closer to us as Beautiful Gate has lost three people to Aids. How difficult it is, how haunting.
Just yesterday a sweet little baby girl died. It was such a horrible shock to everyone at BG because she'd been doing very well and responding well to the ARVs she was on. That's the thing, it seems, about HIV Aids: it's a bit...fickle...I don't think that's the right word...erratic...in whom it takes and who fights on.

First we found out that one of the staff members had tested positive after being sick quite a bit--diarrhea--a telling sign. He is such a lovely man--such a beautiful big smile, such warm, expressive eyes. He's responding well to the ARVs, but his wife suddenly just went downhill very, very fast and she died while Benno and I were away on holidays--not much time at all between diagnosis and death. It was hard to see the pain in Ntate's beautiful, expressive eyes last time I saw him, just before we left on holidays, when his wife had been sent home from the hospital because there was nothing more they could do. He, the husband, was utterly devastated, and he still has to carry on, with the disease, carry on for himself and for his children.

Then another staff member succumbed, again, fairly quickly.

All three of these deaths have been so quick with not a lot of time for families to prepare either emotionally or financially. Yes, families left without moms and wives. Very tough, very tough. It is hard to know that families will have to struggle on. It is hard to know that the little baby girl I had cuddled and kissed when I was at BG just before we left on holidays is gone. Hard for me; much, much, much more difficult for the volunteers and staff at BG.

Dear God I do not even begin to understand the scope of human suffering, but I do trust in your all-sufficient love and grace, and I do know that your ways are higher than ours, that you see a bigger picture.

Rest and Rejuvenation

We are just back from a brief holiday away from Lesotho. It was a break I needed. For three months I had been covering 2, sometimes 3, roles at Beautiful Gate and I had been feeling a bit weary. At the end of each day I pretty well just sat and read some news or did something else that was not particularly creative nor mind challenging. But folks are returning to Beautiful Gate from their leaves and furloughs and when I return to work on 25 August, the pace and task should be less demanding. I will then have no excuses about lacking the energy to respond to e-mails or to compose a blog entry on a more regular basis. I am way behind in providing some updates on what is happening for me here in Lesotho.

Our holiday included a few days at the Indian Ocean. We stayed at a rustic but wonderful place where we pretty much had 4-5 kilometers of beautiful sandy beach shared only with a host of little crabs who would go scrambling down to the surf at the first sight of our silhouettes on their horizon.

Nothing but sand and ocean.

The location was a nature reserve with some friendly wildlife, and one day we took a 14 kilometer walk with the animals. The highlight from the walk was probably getting up close and personal with a number of giraffe who looked down on us with interest and curiosity.

A camp visitor

We also found time and places to explore, including some hiking in the mountains.

Just one of many sandstone overhangs, this one a large one.
That is Wendy at centre stage.

The landscapes here are so different from the Rockies and I am enjoying exploring in them. The sandstone landscapes offer generally easy hiking and many interesting shapes.

How does nature do that?
(The sandstone, that is ...)

The ancient lava flows have less intrigue, and are much tougher to reconnoiter. One thing I learned is that I may have to increase my level of physical activity as I am finding myself puffing more along the trail, and a bit more weary at the end of a day of hiking. Another change, maybe a reflection of age, is that I enjoy the challenge of route finding as much or more as reaching the goal.

A view from the top.

Dylan joined us for the last couple of days. It was good to catch up with him regarding his trip home, and to also do a couple of hikes with him.

Dylan hanging around under the largest
sandstone overhang in the Southern Hemisphere.

It is spring here, and the early flowers are out. We have peach blossoms in our yard, and also found many flowers along the paths and trails.

One of many flower pictures taken by Dylan.

At the risk of offending my Alberta friends, the last fall rose on our rose bush bloomed in mid-June, and the first peach blossoms were out the first or second day of August. Seven weeks of "winter"!!

A 'Zulu Straight Back' amidst the blossoms.

Wendy had her hair done up in an African style and received numerous compliments from many local women along the way. Her "Zulu Straight Back" style even had folks pointing from a distance, waving, and giving her the thumbs up sign.

We enjoyed many sights, including the elusive eland. The eland is a large herbivore about the size of an elk. We were able to capture the cow on film but the bull stayed out of sight for all but a few moments and then he was off and away.

Elund cow.

Another sight - gas is pricey here too, and some folks are downsizing.

Suicide doors!!

These two are vintage BMWs. The two tone in circa 1958.
They do have two wheels, tucked close
together, at the back.

It was just what I needed, a restful and rejuvenating time away.

Benno

A year in a life

Well, here it is August already and we have been here in Lesotho for just over a year now. How does one measure a year in a life? In lots of small and large ways, that when it comes down to writing about, they all just seem mundane or trite—just everyday—but truly (maybe because I’m so darn analytical) the trivial always adds up to a lot of things that I mull around in my head and they become the big issues of life, mainly about relationships...

Sometimes I am challenged to avoid a developing jadedness. How do I explain this? I want to be WITH people not to be USED BY people, and sometimes, being white, it seems like relationships with people here are often about what you can give and not who you truly are. That’s a tough, tough statement, but, truthfully, it is something I am currently struggling with. An example of this is that in Sesotho makgowa, the name given to white people, does not belong in the ‘people’ but the ‘things’ category. What does that suggest about relationships?

Relationships can be so complicated here because there is such an imbalance and such inequity. Yes, I am guaranteed a certain standard of living just because of where I come from and the color of my skin, and it really isn’t ‘fair’, so to what extent do I have a responsibility to even the balance? Tough question. No easy answer. Living in Alberta, relationships were easier because there everyone can have a job and opportunities are much closer to equal. I never—never felt guilty in Canada for what I had. Here I do often. I question my purchases and often think in terms of how much of a day’s wage for the average Basotho the item is.

It’s complicated a lot of the time here, if I dwell on it, like when the little street urchins stand outside the grocery store and beg for money. The easy way of appeasing my guilt over the inequity is to hand them a few coins; but what am I solving? Am I not just creating a plethora of other potential problems? Am I not just being exploited by them? Trust me, that happens a lot to makgowa (white people) here. Sometimes I see this exploitation happening and it feels like I’ve been kicked in the gut. When little kids come into the grocery store, even, and ‘plague’ the white shoppers and ignore some equally well-off Basotho who they know they will not sucker for even a small coin… When people ignore all the Basotho and head straight for the white person as they walk down the street and ask that person for a job or some money… When people like Michelle who gave so much to help a young lady at MIS is asked—the last time she sees this young woman—for yet one more THING. Not, “I will miss you; your friendship has meant so much to me; not “I appreciate your help,” but, “You should give me…”

And it’s tough here because saying thank you is not as ready a part of this culture as it is in Canada. Often when one gives, one does not hear a thank you. I can prepare meals for my Basotho friends who will seldom say thank you. That does not mean they hated the food or that they are ungrateful, but it just seems that way when it happens time and again. Again, it’s kind of like when we go to the bank to get out money. Of course we don’t say thank you to the bank machine. Ouch! Now that shows the extent of my struggle and my potential for jadedness!

Then there’s the communication barrier. Although this is a dual-language country, with English as one of the official languages, Sesotho is still the language of choice; and if I REALLY want to become ‘at home’ here that is the language I need to acquire. Oftentimes I just wish I knew Sesotho really well and maybe sometimes I would not let on just so that I could partake in the conversations around me…like Saturday when I sat in a busy, busy salon for 3.5 hours having my hair braided and the whole time, other than the few words that were exchanged between myself and my hairdresser, I only heard about five English words. There was this constant buzz of conversation around, and possibly at times, about me, and not more than a few words I could understand. It is an isolating—very isolating—feeling, to be WITH so many people, but not to be OF them…

But, I cannot expend a ton of energy analyzing this or I become discouraged, uncertain and ineffective.

…yes, relationships: The thing is, though, despite the challenges of relationships, the people here are lovely, warm and friendly, and my students are still the center of that feeling for me. Several have been dropping by or have been in touch by email and it has been good to see them, and to offer help or suggestions on their ongoing work projects. This is help that is not demanded or expected by them, but freely offered by me, given because we have a relationship that I’m comfortable with. I do like my students, and because Maseru is such a small city, almost every time I am in town I see at least one or two. With the students, it’s just always about exchanging ideas or a pleasant greeting, not about exploiting this makgowa for money or food…

…and, despite my negative comments about thank-you’s I have not been totally fair. We have some friends, like my student whom I was able to find the scholarship for, who are effusive in their thanks and who overwhelm me with their thankfulness ;-)

…then there are the other friendships we are building and I am so grateful for those relationships that are just about spending time together and enjoying each other’s company. In addition to our Basotho friends, my colleague, Flesba, whom I can vent to because she’s makgowa/Basotho having lived here for over forty years; there are Dean and Sarah (just a joy to spend time with—comfortable people); Andy, a delightful young Irish fellow with a wonderful heart for kids, who came and watched a movie with me and just visited…

But, this is enough. This has become a long (kind of) diatribe which was not the intent when I started! I think I’m just going through some cultural adjustment and will work my way through all this relational ‘stuff’.

Meanwhile, I’m crazy sitting here when I could be out enjoying another fantastic African August day. Winter’s grip has loosened upon the land here. The peach trees are blooming—ALREADY! The weather is so fabulous here in August, and good for the spirit…