Thabiso, the young orphan whose family we've been helping out, is one of the most exceptional young men I know. I'm thinking of him because Benno, our young neighbor, Bokang, and I just got back from visiting Thabiso and his family. Thabiso is a fine example of a young African man who has chosen to carry a huge burden of responsibility for his family. He is COMMITTED!
In contrast to Thabiso, I remember a young fellow that I taught in Alberta saying that his dad had advised him that if he ever got a girl pregnant, to start walking in the opposite direction and not look back! Quite the advice. It stuck with me.
And now I see Thabiso, a young man with so much potential. Now Thabiso isn't in the same situation, but he HAS been handed a huge responsibility, and unlike this guy who was advised to walk--run away, Thabiso is taking the burden. I can't help thinking that he could be a Machabeng student, that he is likely bright enough to do it; but he will never do that because he has a huge load of responsibilities that he will not abandon. For that I have so much respect! Thabiso does have an older brother, apparently, that left the family, but Thabiso has chosen to be responsible for the welfare of his grandmother, his two sisters, his niece, and now his sister's new baby. What a load! I cannot imagine. As I've known Thabiso over the months, I have seen the huge burden of care that he carries slowly lift. Surprisingly! And paradoxically, since it has gotten heavier; but when we first met Thabiso I think the thing was that he was carrying it largely on his own, and now he knows that there are a few people, like us, that will help him carry at least a bit of the burden.
Yesterday Thabiso dropped by to leave a message for Ntate Benno that Matseliso, his sister, had had her baby. Earlier than we'd thought! So I said we'd try to come by and see the baby, and today we did. Again, on this visit I was reminded of all the responsibilities Thabiso has: As stated, he supports his whole family in addition to being a student. He's determined to finish his High School, and this vacation he also took on a small business (corner fruit stand) and made M350 (That's about $50. Canadian) and was thrilled and proud of his profit. Ironically, the hospital bill for Matseliso was M450, and so the money goes! I have no idea how they make ends meet, I have no idea how he sustains hope and good cheer, but he's happier a lot more lately. He's happy that the baby is healthy; he's happy that his grandmother is enjoying the bigger house they are now in (Oh, it is still so small, but SO MUCH better than the one they were in!). It is reassuring that Thabiso can find joy and happiness despite his heavy load.
As we drove home from Thabiso's I asked our neighbor, Bokang, "It seems to me, Bokang, that Thabiso is a pretty exceptional young man for all the responsibilities he has taken. Do you agree?" Without hesitation her response was in the affirmative; so it's not just from my cultural perspective, but from a Basotho perspective as well.
You know, Dylan has talked to us about the failure of men in South Africa--about their absence in the family--yet Thabiso is such a fabulous example of a young man who has not chosen to desert but is taking on responsibilities, and indeed responsibilities so much bigger than any other 20 year old I know!
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