Saying Goodbye, Letting Go

Within a week, Wendy and I will be back in Canada.  This time back it will be more than just a busy visit with family and friends and then a return to Lesotho.  This time we will be back in Canada for ... a while.  

Wendy has felt a need to reconnect with our lives in Canada.  We made this decision back in February 2012, when Wendy officially confirmed that she would not be returning to her teaching position at Machabeng College.  Since then another event has come up.  One of our sons is getting married in October, so Wendy's sense for reconnecting with our lives in Canada took on a greater urgency and we moved up our departure from Lesotho by a couple of months.  We are now in the final throes of packing up, wrapping up, and saying good-byes.  

Like when we left Canada, we are packing up things - some to send home, much to disperse amoungst our friends here, and a few things we are storing here.  While we are returning 'home' to Canada, I still have not let go of Lesotho, and we hope to visit a couple of times next year.  So we will be leaving a few things here for when we return.

Wrapping up for me has meant passing on history and contacts and experiences to our recently hired Mosotho staff member at the Mustard Seed.  Her learning curve has been steeper than planned as a result of moving up our departure date by two months.  Part of the training has included using Skype and g-mail chat so that I can continue to keep in touch and support her and the Mustard Seed from Canada.

Saying good-byes has been an ongoing process it seems, especially for Wendy.  Saying her goodbyes at school, and then to past students heading off to university in places as diverse as South Africa, Zimbabwe, and China.  On Saturday (09 Sept.) we were in Bloemfontein and had opportunity to say further goodbyes to two of her former students attending university there.  

With only days left we are now saying final goodbyes to our friends and acquaintances here in Lesotho.  It has been, and is, difficult saying goodbye to so many we have met, and for me especially, those I have met through the Mustard Seed.  I will miss being here to rejoice with the girls and the board in their successes and achievements and to encourage them in their disappointments.   

It was a privilege to be here for the Mustard Seed's Annual General Meeting last week end.  It was another opportunity to witness the growth in the organization and its leaders.  I am now looking forward to the coming weekend and being part of the launch of our Jewels of Hope program.  We will be welcoming another seventeen girls into the Mustard Seed, bringing the total number of girls served to thirty four.  I am already looking forward to returning in 2013 to see and witness how things will have developed both in our School Support program and the Jewels of Hope program.  The Jewels of Hope girls will be producing jewelry and we will be able to bring samples back to Canada, and for our school girls I will be hoping to see most, in not all, having progressed to their next grade level.   

For me, "letting go" is more than letting go of being a daily part of the Mustard Seed and the lives of so many here in Lesotho.  "Letting go" is also meaning, letting go of my/our future.  At this time Wendy and I have no clear idea of what and where our future will take us.  In the short term we know we are returning to Central Alberta and we already have some leads on places to rent and maybe even a vehicle to buy.  We are trusting God to continue to prepare the way, and wish to say thank-you to those of you who have been praying for us in these regards.  But, at the moment, all we are clear about is that we will be returning to central Alberta until a return trip to Lesotho that we have planned for early in 2013.  Beyond that our future will unfold step by step.  A step by step that may include being back in Lesotho at some future date. 

When I first came to Lesotho and Beautiful Gate in 2007, I was expecting to be involved in developing and supporting small income generating initiatives.  However, situations and circumstances were such that my contributions, at both Beautiful Gate and now at the Mustard Seed, have been in the area of organizational development and administration.  Now I am wondering if God may be leading me back in the direction of economic development, possibly on a scale that I feel totally unqualified for - a scale that would develop revenue streams that would ensure local, sustainable funding for the programs of the Mustard Seed.  If this is to be my future, or something else, I am trusting that God will step by step, affirm and confirm his plans and future direction for Wendy and me.  

Those of you wont to pray, I would covet your prayers for Wendy and I, that we might understand God's plans and directions.  Those of you who have financially supported the Mustard Seed, I again wish to say how grateful and humbled I am by your part in supporting the work of this small organization.  If you find it in your thoughts to continue supporting the Mustard Seed financially, you would continue to made a difference for the girls that we serve.  

We are looking forward to seeing many of you upon our arrival back in Canada, and hearing from others.  While saying good-byes and letting go of our involvements of the last five years, I look forward with anticipation to where God will lead us in the weeks and months and years ahead. 

Step by Step.

~ Benno ~

Cherish Connections

Our last Cherish gathering for the girls, was a wonderful success.  The Mustard Seed has a total of seventeen girls in it's school support program.  Fourteen were able to attend the latest Cherish Day, the largest get together of our girls for a Cherish event.  

The early arrivers.

The Cherish Days function as a support group gathering for the Mustard Seed girls.  A time when they receive information, talk about matters of concern for them, and hang out together.  A number of the board members lead the group.  In addition, this time one of our Big Sisters showed up, and she too made a significant contribution to the fun and learning of the day.  My role is to take a few pictures, do a bit of back ground organization and stay out of the way.  

Sharing and learning opportunities.

Lesotho has a culture with different time constraints, or lack thereof.  The first group of girls arrived a half hour late, the last girl arrived four hours later, but still it was a time to be together and for developing and deepening friendships with their Mustard Seed 'sisters'.

The smiles I see on faces is something I always delight in.  Maybe it is a visible demonstration in the lives of the girls that what the Mustard Seed provides is making a difference.  Many of them come from such hurting situations, situations where they feel a burden and often receive only the basics of a place to stay and a bit of food on their plate.  Even, at a Cherish event, some visibly carry a weight on there shoulders that shows on their faces.  I think Cherish offers an oasis, if but for a brief moment, where they can let go of some of their cares and amidst the activites, the learning, and the FOOD, they can smile.


(Food:  I thought the amount of food on hand would be way too much, but fourteen active, hungry girls showed otherwise as there was not a crust left over.)

One of the exercises the girls did was to provide some feedback to the recently hired program coordinator for the Mustard Seed.  In reviewing their comments, I was further reminded that I still do not fully grasp the lives our girls live.  A repeated comment was how much they appreciated someone contacting their schools and teachers on their behalf; someone visiting them at their schools;  someone for whom them succeeding in school mattered.

They wrote how much it meant to them that the Program Coordinator, 'M'e Matseliso, told them they were loved, that God loved them, and that she encouraged them to persevere.    

I understand from past experiences that not all of our girls will succeed in school.  Not all will make wise choices.  I reflect on two girls who have left the program, and whose lives, on their own, have known pain and struggle.  Yet both of them are persevering.  They have not given up.  My prayer for the fourteen at the last Cherish is that they too will continue to persevere despite the obstacles they face, and as they persevere that they will be encouraged to dream bigger dreams, and in God find the courage and strength to achieve greater heights than they had thought possible.

~ Benno ~

Reason to Celebrate

When our children pass milestones, it is a moment of joy and celebration.  The Mustard Seed as an organization has witnessed another milestone, our first Mustard Seed girl going off to university.  Another story that causes me to stand in awe of God's grace, though it again also causes me to ask, "How does God work?", or maybe this time "Why?  God, why do you put people through what you put them through?"

This young woman is living with an wonderful and caring aunt and uncle after the death of her own parents.  They did all they could for her, but hard financial times left them in a place where they would not be able to fund her through her final year of high school.  With minimal support from the Mustard Seed they put together the application for the government bursary, and she was one of our girls who qualified for and was funded to complete her last year.  

The school she attended was not a strong school, but she worked hard, and passed her final year in the top ten in her school, though that meant only a 2nd class pass.   But 2nd class opens tertiary education doors.  She carried her determination forward applying to two post secondary institutions.  A first choice and a second choice.  

In Lesotho, students often end up in their second choice because that is where the funding fits.  Her second choice, accepted her application, and the funding body set a final date by which applications for funding to attend that institution needed to be submitted.  Once she submitted her application for funding to that institution it would be a challenge to transfer it over to her first choice should she hear from them later.

A resume is required to apply for the funding and I had the joy of helping her with that.  I must credit the staff I worked with in Red Deer who, by just rubbing shoulders with me I guess, taught me much about writing a better resume, or CV as they are referred to here.  I gave this young woman some instructions on information to gather for her CV.  She was a quick study, returning with excellent information to put together a CV, included lots of action words to describe past roles and learnings, and we put together her CV.  

The final day came when she had to submit her application to funding for her second choice.  She still had not heard from her first choice.  But she had everything prepared and dare not miss the chance of post secondary funding.  She was at the National Manpower Development Secretariat (NMDS) offices first thing that final morning and that is where it seems God began to do his thing.  For some reason, the reviewing officer asked why, considering her involvement with the Mustard Seed, she had not included the Mustard Seed as a reference on her CV.  Could she also get a last minute letter of reference from the Mustard Seed the office suggested.

At 8:30 she called me explaining her need.  Could I help?  Ah, the joy of computers.  Adding the Mustard Seed as a reference to her CV was completed in short order.  Even putting the reference letter together was not all that difficult as I had provided her with one related to a past situation.  The bare bones were there, and it was just a matter of amending and adding some updated information.  Poverty.  She had not the taxi fare to come out to our offices to pick up the letter and updated CV, so I drove the 15 minutes in to the NMDS office.  When I arrived I sent a quick text message that I had arrived.  A few minutes later, she, with her aunt, walked over.  Our Mustard Seed young woman with a difficult to understand look on her face.  

She told me she had just received a text message.  My first thought was, "Yeah, I just sent one."  Then she clarified.  She had just received a text message from the National University of Lesotho, her first choice, informing her that she had been accepted!!  At the very last minute God intervened.  If the staff at NMDS had not asked for the additional information, she likely would have been on her way home by then, having applied for funding to her second choice.  Why does God sometimes test one's faith by leaving until the last moment the answer or desire we hope for.  Like Abraham who was on the mountain, his son on a alter, his knife raised, before God said "Stop!"

It was tears of relief and joy she shed, as we quietly talked about God and the mystery of how he works - testing, and challenging us to trust him.  It is an exciting time for her, and for us at the Mustard Seed.  Our first "baby" off to university.  She has since been out to the university, we are helping with transport costs and initial registration costs.  This week or early next, she will be back at the NMDS offices applying for funding, but this time to the Department of Education, at the National University.  What can I say, but that God is good, and we are celebrating his goodness with her. 

~ Benno ~  

Forced March

Wendy and I took a short break away from the cold of Lesotho in the latter part of July.  We left the snows of Lesotho, to drive through the snows of South Africa, but finally reached the Indian Ocean coast.  At the coast it is still winter, but the moderating effect of the Indian Ocean waters does mean much warmer nights relative to Lesotho.

At one place we stayed, we looked out over the ocean and along the coast.  In the ‘near’ distance, up the coast, was a promontory with a big rock at the end.  Maybe a hiking goal we thought.

I was out early the next morning on my own and thought in an hour or so I should reach the point. Off I went to check it out, but after walking for an hour, and seeming only half way there, I thought I better get back and try again later with Wendy.  The next day we set out early with the tide going out.  It was an auspicious start with a whale surfacing just off the shore as be started, beckoning us on with a wave of a flipper.

The outgoing tide left the sand on the beach beautifully packed, and the walking was easy under a clear blue sky.  We reached the one-hour point I had reached the day before in about the same amount of time, and I was thinking, another hour to go and lots of time to get back before the tide would be in.  The promontory however, seemed not to be getting any closer as we continued on for the next hour.

At the end of the second hour we had reached a rocky section of shore, where some locals were harvesting oysters.  The first fellow was on the shore having a smoke and tending a small fire, while it was a woman out wading in the water with a short iron bar, searching for and chipping the oysters from the rocks.  She methodically checked in, around, and under the rocks, prying off the oysters she found with a deft stroke from her bar, and then placing them into a sack tied to her waist.  A bit further along we saw a couple of other fellows, half heartedly it seemed, poking around for oysters amongst the rocks.  Much like what I so often see, I thought, the woman doing the bulk of the work while the men have it easy.

By this time we were beginning to consider a “turn-back” time.  The promontory seemed not much closer, but we figured we still had time.  The rocks were less easy to make good time on, but we soldiered on.  At one point we thought, just another 15 minutes.  But at the end of the 15 minutes we were just as far away it seemed.  But we must be getting close.  I thought of how hard it must be for those Mount Everest climbers to turn back when the goal seems so close.  We gave out selves a further 15 minutes, which we stretched out to 20 and we arrived, three hours after out departure.  Our goal, the rock at the end of the promontory that seemed to get smaller at times, now rose above us, a small hill.

We clambered to the top and enjoyed a fine view.  The view included, on a pretty little bay the other side of the point, maybe a kilometer away, a parking lot.  We could have driven.  As we rested at the top and enjoyed the view, and a quick lunch, we considered continuing on to the parking lot in hopes of finding a taxi back.  But what if there were no taxis?  We settled for the beach.

Back we headed.  First over and through the rocky sections.  The tide had turned, but high tide was still five hours away.  Some ways on, we met the oyster gatherers, and I had to retract my critical thoughts about the men.  Two of them, each carrying on their shoulders a large sack of oysters, maybe 40-50 pounds, led the way.  They had come a long way already and they still a good part of an hour trudge over rough ground to reach the promontory, and then the distance to the parking lot.  The last fellow was carrying the woman’s iron bar, and having completed her task, her now strolled along unencumbered.

As we proceeded past the rocky section the incoming tide was disrupting the firmly packed sand we had enjoyed on our walk out.  The sand higher up the beach was too dry and soft and made the going tough.  The sand where the surf had surged in was now too wet and also soft.  As we continued the narrow strip of firm sand in between too dry and too wet grew smaller and smaller.  Trying to pick a path between too dry and too wet gave me a whole new appreciation for Goldilocks and her fixation on “just right”.

There was no easy way out and on we trudged.  The warmth and the sun trying to keep out spirits up as our legs and ankles complained more and more.  Our march was broken at one point when a school of dolphins swept by, leaping in and out of the swell.  I got out our binoculars, and watched.  The binoculars enabled me to see the dolphins up close, even just below the surface of the leading edge of the surging swells.  To my amazement, in the leading edge of a swell, I would frequently see three, four, and sometimes more dolphins, in a row, facing down the swell.  It was if they were body surfing in the waves!  Leaping and surfing, the dolphins continued their way along the shore line and were soon lost from view.  Back to our trudging we turned.

After we had been trudging for nearly three hours we arrived at a place that it had taken us an hour to walk out when the sand was firm.  We still had at least an hour’s walk ahead, and now the incoming tide caused me to think ahead to rock cliff bands that reached down to the sea.  If the tide was in sufficiently to block our return, it would mean backtracking and taking another, longer path, up and around, to get back to our accommodation.  We arrived at the cliff bands some fifty minutes later and the incoming surf was surging up to the base of the rock before briefly retreating.  Timing the surge, I scrambled over the sand under the first band.  Wendy followed, but not before giving me a brief moment of anxiety, waiting where I feared she might get wet.  The second band, Wendy nimbly darted through and around, while I took the more laborious route.  I managed the ‘through’ part on the sand, but then clambered up and over, rather than around, the final section of rock.

The steep climb back up to our accommodation lay only another ten minutes beyond the rock bands, and soon we were making our way slowly up.  It was with aching legs and ankles that we dragged out tired bodies over the last metres to the top.  What had taken three hours out, had taken four hours back.  What had been planned as a four-hour day, had taken seven.

Our goal,the small sand coloured rock,
 as viewed from our accommondation.

Why things along a coast sometimes seem closer I do not know.  Consulting a map later that evening we realized that the walk to the point had been over eleven kilometers, one way.  The taxi might have provided a quicker ride home, but we would have had no story to tell of our forced march back.  :-)

~ Benno ~

Mariha Snows - Reprise

After a cold weekend in mid July we left Lesotho for a warm weather break at the Eastern Cape coast.  It was not hot there, but is was certainly warmer than Lesotho, though on our trip to the coast, we continued to witness snow in Africa. 

The receding Maloti Mountains of Lesotho as we drove west.

Entering the Lootsberg Pass in the Eastern Cape.

Snow, near and far.

The highway down from the pass. 

Aloe Vera juxtaposed again distant
 snow capped mountains in the Karoo.

Ah, Africa.  


~ Benno ~

Photo Credits:  Wendy Fath

Mariha (Winter) Snows

Snow in Africa.  When we first left for Africa, most folks sending us off, talked about how warm it would be.  I think folks may have doubted us when we talked about snow in 

Africa.

Not the Canadian Rockies this time,
the Thaba Putsoa (Blue Mountains) of Lesotho.  

And this is the lowlands, where snow falls much less frequently.

A village clocked in snow and cloud.

Recently I was driving on a snowy day.  It was invigorating is some strange way, driving with snow falling.  Might I be missing Canadian winters more than I thought? 

~ Benno ~

Sisters

Amongst the programs the Mustard Seed provides to the girl orphans we serve, is Bo-Ausi ba Baholoanya, or Big Sisters.  Recently our tiny little program of one Big Sister has blossomed with the addition of three new Big Sisters.  In the last couple of weeks I have been blessed with being part of introducing these Big Sisters to their little sisters. 

I have been again confronted with the desperate loneliness and lack of connectedness that an orphan must feel.  Two sisters who had had a Big Sister, and then lost her when the Big Sister returned to university, were waiting with huge smiles of delight when we brought their new Big Sister to meet them.  This is the family where the younger sister’s response to her first Big Sister was to begin to live life, rather than exist.       

... my Big Sister brought
 out my smile.

Getting by ...,
 until ...

 Her school marks improved, her posture improved, she exuded a sparkle that had not been there before.  One of her first, unsolicited comments to her new Big Sister was that she was going to do even better in school.  Can a sense of belonging have such an impact?? 

The older of the two sisters made a point of thanking me, thanking me for providing then another Big Sister.  What could, what can, I say?  God is at work, and I just have the joy and privilege of having a front row seat, witnessing Him in action.

On a cold and snowy Saturday we traveled to another village with the other two new Big Sisters and introduced them to their little sisters.  Again, I was touched as little sisters came out to meet their Big Sisters with smiles and a sense of anticipation on their faces.  One girl lives with a grandfather and uncle, and to have a 'sister', a woman, in her life seems something that she is looking forward to. 

A 'Big Sister' in my life!!!

The second girl lives with an uncle and aunt in circumstances of significant austerity and poverty.  Yet her worn out boots and hand me down coat could not mask a sense of renewed self confidence - a sense not there before, birthed, perhaps, in the knowledge that some one cared enough to come out to see her, and to call her ‘sister’.  

Me, and ....

... my Big Sister.

Each of our new big sisters is excited about their new roles, and I am looking forward to seeing the difference their involvement will have in the lives of our Mustard Seed girls. 

The words of one of the new Big Sisters, who is also a volunteer with another agency was a further encouragement.  She noted that in the other agency, they are only able to see the children they help, once a year.  She said about the Mustard Seed program, “You are doing it right.”  To God be the glory!!

~ Benno ~

Staying warm on a snowy winter day.

Ah, Lesotho

Anecdotes from Lesotho.

Construction Whoops:  The way into the local mall was diverted through a gravel pit a couple of weeks back.  As I arrived at the turn in to the mall, before being redirected, I saw the bottom of a truck.  It seemed to be standing up on its hind wheels.  Then I realized it was a mobile construction crane and the operator had mismanaged a load.  The crane boom and load, lying on the ground behind the truck, had lifted the whole truck onto it’s back bumper.  Spinning it wheels one could say, in the middle of the access road, with traffic diverted, while another crane was called in to try to amend the situation.

Garbage Gleaners:  I happened to look out over our yard fence one day, and some distance away saw a throng of women along a road sorting through clothes or something.  Often hawkers sell used clothes along the streets and I turned away thinking that was what must be going on.  A day or so later I drove past the same spot, where a few girls were picking through what was left, but it was not hawker’s wares. 

The location was nearby an exclusive street in the neighborhood, and the best I could figure out was that the garbage truck was full, and the garbage men and collected the bags of garbage from that street into a pile to pick up on their next trip, but they never got back.  When the passing throng realized this they figured that such “garbage” often includes cast offs from the well-to-do, that the less well to do, still value.  When we first moved into our neighborhood we had folks poking through our garbage thinking the same thing.  They soon realized our garbage was slim picking and I no longer have to re-bag our rubbish after it had been gone through by the local gleaners.

Wiring:  I will whine one more time about the cold inside the houses in winter here.  One compounding factor is that corners are often cut to save money when houses are built.  In our house this is manifest in that every electrical outlet in the house is on the same circuit.  Getting breakfast on means turning down a heater or two before plugging in the coffee maker.  And it is a sure circuit breaker to have the kettle and microwave going at the same time as a couple of heaters.  Fortunately, we have found one outlet wired to the electric stove, which IS wired to a different circuit.  It has meant less tripping of the electrical outlet breaker, though the stove top burners constitute a hazard to the heater cord. 

If I ever build a house in Lesotho …. .

Fork Lift Famine:  Driving to the Mustard Seed office each day I pass a site where a two story house is being built.  The workers are working on the second floor.  Those little fork lifts in Canada that attach to the back of a truck delivering construction materials have not found there way to Lesotho yet.  One day I drive by and bricks for the second floor are being unloaded at the work site.  Two men standing on the truck are tossing the bricks two at a time to two men on the ground who dutifully stack them in neat piles.

A few days later I notice that now there are two workers standing by the neat piles on the ground and two workers are standing on the second floor.  The workers below are tossing bricks up, one by one, to the workers above, who are stacking them there in neat piles.  Why the bricks weren't tossed directly from the truck to the second floor, I can't answer.

Taxi no Tire:  I have a fear driving here in Lesotho.  I listen to every squeak or whisper coming from my car wheels.  Anything untoward and I am considering a trip to the mechanic, (but if you remember from a distant past post, he only wants to fix things after they break). 

Nary a week goes by when I do not see a taxi in the middle of a driving lane, not with a flat tire, but with no tire, or more correctly no wheel.  How does that happen?  Recently I came upon such a sight while I was walking so took a closer look.  Yes, the whole wheel assembly had detached.  Leaving marks on the road for the last few metres before stopping was the hub, brake shoes exposed, no wheel, just the remains of the hub. 

Other times you see the taxi driver or his mechanic working on repairing what ever it is that goes wrong, traffic whizzing by.  No problem it seems, as within a day, sometimes two, they are on their way again.

I fear my mechanic might not be willing to respond to such a ‘road’ call. 

Elections:  On a very positive note, in late May general elections were held in Lesotho.  The incumbent Prime Minister was voted out.  The positive result was, not necessarily that he was voted out, but that for the first time in Lesotho’s history a ruling Prime Minister acceded to the wishes of the people and when voted out of office affected a peaceful transition to a new incoming Prime Minister.

Sunshine:  The days are getting longer and for the last few days the sun has been shining bright, with above average temperatures.  The kids are running about outside in their shirt sleeves and I am needing one less layer inside.  Oh happy day!!  Though winter is not yet over, within another four weeks, the trend will be warmer, upwards and onward to spring ... though I am already hearing people complain that then it will be too windy.

~ Benno ~

Mustard Seed Stories

As I reflect on the Mustard Seed and the things happening there, it is hard not to see God at work.  Where and how He is leading, I cannot know and I will just have to follow one step at a time while trying to let go of my penchant to worry. 

The last six months have seen much growth and change at the Mustard Seed.  Much of the growth has resulted from financial support arriving from diverse quarters.  From Canada came support to hire a staff member for a one year project.  From Australia: financial support to initiate a new program, Jewels of Hope (JoH), and from Lesotho volunteers and experienced trainers to run the JoH program.  From Germany, school fees for one of our girls. From individuals, enough additional funding to enable the Mustard Seed to continue to provide educational related supports that will assist our girls to be more successful in school and in their life choices.

I marvel that what started as a little endeavor in 2009, providing support to five girls has the potential to be serving over 35 girl orphans by the end of 2012.  It is God who is at work as He honours the faith and commitment of the women who believed that as a Mustard Seed grows to become a place where birds can find shelter (Mark 4:30-32), so the Mustard Seed Society would become a place where girl orphans would find shelter and support in Lesotho.

Other things that are happening: 

In the last six weeks our Big Sisters program, which was quietly happening with one dedicated big sister, all of a sudden has four.  The three new big sisters are outgoing young women - an accountant, a teacher, a full time volunteer - committed to supporting, listening to, encouraging, laughing with, praying with and loving our Mustard Seed girls.  From past experience we know what a difference it can make to our girls to have someone come alongside and be a big sister, a support, and a role model.

Another of our girls, whom I have previously written about, living on her own and often plagued with fears and loneliness, has found peace in the arms of God.  As Henry Blackabee says, God is always at work.  Our job is to notice, come alongside and be faithful with the little, and other, things he asks of us.  As I and others are faithful, God unfolds his plan.  In this case it was a number of our board members taking the initiative to see that this girl felt cared for, prayed with, and shown she had others on her side.  Where there was fear and anxiety, we now see an even bigger smile, and a peace from God.  Still, her journey is not yet over.  We are supporting her to get medical services for a lingering injury from a violent sexual assault in her past.  And, each evening she still returns to an empty residence where she is very much physically alone.  But we continue to pray for and with her, do what we can, and trust that God cares for her more than we can ask or imagine.

Meanwhile the Mustard Seed board sees an even bigger future.  Amongst their goals for next society year is to locate land where in the future they can build a permanent home for the Mustard Seed.  Other thoughts from when the project first got started are also being resurrected, ways that the organization can generate income that would allow it to be more self sustaining.  How about a "Women’s Only Driving School"?  One woman’s response was that she thought women in Lesotho might flock to a driving school with women instructors.  We will see how this idea unfolds.  Our new staff member is confident that God will provide a car that will enable us to pursue this possibility.  Maybe we can paint it pink.

I am humbled and yet feel honored to be part of the Mustard Seed.  The dedication and commitment of our board and staff is inspiring, and God is at work.  Yes, there are setbacks and disappointments.  One of our early participants has run off, abandoning her two little girls.  Another is HIV+ and very ill.  Even in these situations though, I continue to believe that God is not finished his work yet.  My job is to continue being and doing what he asks, Step by Step.

~ Benno ~

Mariha (Winter)

Some of you must get tired of my complaining about winter in Africa.  I still marvel at the incongruence of sitting at my computer bundled up in layer upon layer, with a heater at my feet while outside in the afternoon sun, children are running about with but a light jacket.  How can it be colder inside than out?

By and large it has been a mild winter though we are in the midst of our third cold front.  The cold front arrived early last week (June 04), and culminated with snow flurries on Saturday, the 9th.  A friend, who was out in the mountains, described her harrowing journey back to Maseru on snow-covered roads.  Snow and freezing temperatures in Africa still seem like a contradiction to me.

This week we are getting some slight warming with the days back up to the low teens, and the nights only in the -1 to -4 range.  Still, the masonry the houses are built from seems to hold the long night cold, leading to the incongruence of deep chill inside, when the afternoon sun beckons with its bright warm smile. 

We again have retreated to two rooms in our current house, the kitchen and the bedroom.  We deeply miss the coal heaters we enjoyed in two of the houses we had previously lived in, while here in Lesotho.  If I ever have opportunity to construct another building in Lesotho, I will be looking at insulating options to create a warm and cozy inside. 

May those of you north of the equator enjoy a warm and relaxed summer.  While here, with June 21 but a week away, we, and many of our Basotho friends, are looking forward to the days getting longer and with the longer days, warmer living. 

~ Benno ~

Joys

Lucky for me life is not just about learning to trust God (see last post).  Learning to trust him, for me, involves too much struggle.  So I am grateful for the day to day joys that life and living offer and which distract me from the challenges of spiritual growth.  Little children surely know how to bring joy to life.

Our friends, the Lepheana's have four little ones in their house hold, one a niece.  At a past time in their lives they had not the opportunity to support their oldest daughter to go on a school trip to Thaba Bosiu, the historical "mountain fortress" of Lesotho.  They now live but a thirty five minute drive away.  Without a car that is still a long way, but to their daughter's young mind that distance should not be an inconvenience.  A statutory holiday was coming up, May 1, when the girls would be out of school.  It was still warm, the forecast was looking good, and it seemed a great opportunity to offer to take the family to Thaba Bosiu.  (Just dont tell the kids lest they be disappointed if the weather changes.)

When the day arrived, Ntate Kuena was not able to go.  He was needed at his work.  The kids, however, were washed and dressed and ready to go when I drove up.  They had been told the night before of the trip and there was no way they were going to miss it.  But without Ntate Kuena, I wondered about the challenge of getting four little ones aged 10, 7, 3 1/2 and 2, up Thaba Bosiu.

Off we went.  What a delight.  Only one, "I'm tired," on the trail up to the plateau top.  The little guy (actually three weeks shy of age two) spent some time on his mother's shoulders on the way but the other three scrambled up on their own. 

What a tough mom, eh!  She got me to the top

We made it! A view at the top.

Then we spent three hours wandering around on the top, making sure we didn't miss one sight that the oldest daughter's school mates had told her about.  Towards the end of the time the three year old was weary but still not complaining.  She got a short ride on my shoulders where she nodded in and out of asleep.

I'm just three, but I managed on my own.

I think the biggest joy for me was a few days later when I heard about what happened when the family was back at home.  There, the older ones shared with all who would listen about their trip to Thaba Bosiu.  The three year old, the niece, as she snuggled in bed with her mother that evening, was not falling asleep.  She was recounting every detail of her day's adventures.  My joy was having been able to facilitate a day that provided them with such special memories. 

Another day, another family.  This time a trip out of town for a picnic.  In a land with few native trees, this trip was to a location with an wooded area of imported trees.  Playing in leaves, big piles of leaves, is a memory from most childhoods, but not in Lesotho.  Here were lots of leaves, leaves the like of which the little ones along on this trip had never before seen, let alone  played in.  Unfortunately they were a bit reticient about leaves and though they did get into throwing some back at me, it was their mother who, for the first time in her life, experienced being buried in a pile of leaves.

Oooh, what's with all these leaves?

Mom??!??

Forget the leaves, can we get back to the food?

Blessings come in so many ways.  What a blessing and source of much joy to be able to provide memories for others, especially when they are children, or children at heart. 

~ Benno ~

The Hand of God??

A few weeks back, in a moment of self pity and discouragement, watching the new and fancy cars zipping past my pre-2000 Honda, I was asking myself, “If the rich in Lesotho don’t seem to care about the poor in their own land, then why should I?”  How is it that humankind everywhere, when our own needs are met, can so easily overlook the other?  Such thoughts do come now and then.  They don't linger long, but they can be discomforting.  Which brings me to the Mustard Seed.  Where to for this little organization?

In April the board members were wrestling with the question of where they felt God was leading the Mustard Seed.  Below is a summation of their thoughts of where God is leading.

- God has greater plans for the Mustard Seed.

- Seeing girls suffering without education has to make us want to serve more girls.

- Provide school fees ourselves for girls not accepted for the government bursary.

- Find our own land/place, a permanent home.

- Enlarge our territory, enlarge our hearts, but it is God who will provide.

The Mustard Seed.  Where to?  How does God speak?  Is it the collective wisdom and thoughts of a group, our board?  If it is, then the Mustard Seed may be facing God sized growing pains in the near future.  Their sense is that we are to reach out to more girl orphans struggling to continue their schooling.  This year we are involved with about 18 girls.  A couple from the past have moved on, while about six new files have been opened.  Is it feasible, possible, to consider working with 50 girls next year?  Something that big is just too scary for my faith.  

How does God speak?  Are events that have occurred since those April deliberations the hand of God?  Another way of Him speaking, calling us to trust in Him, and that He will provide?

A group of local individuals have been working with orphans.  Their focus is to help orphans to understand and know God, the one who loves them and wants their best.  They do this through regular meetings with the children and helping the children develop income generating skills though jewelry making.  Circumstances had led them to a place where, if they were to continue, they were in need of a registered organization under which to deliver their program, Jewels of Hope.  They approached us, the little Mustard Seed, and asked to partner, or more correctly, to come under the Mustard Seed.  

The vision and mission statement of the Mustard Seed includes providing income generating skills to our participants.  A group of trained local people, with financial and administrative support from an Australian organization - a program ready to hit the ground running - through circumstances and past contacts, God brings to the Mustard Seed.  Today we have: a signed agreement with Jewels of Hope in South Africa, a group of workers familiar with the program, and strong support from Pioneers of Australia.   There is still much work to be done and relationships to be further developed, but together we are preparing to start up a Jewels of Hope project that will involve 20 participants, some of them current Mustard Seed girls, but most, new referrals from schools and chieftain's offices.  The tentative start up month is September 2012.  At that time participants in the Mustard Seed programs will swell from 18 to about 35.  With God at the helm, working with 50 girls next year may entail fewer growing pains than I had envisioned.

This school year the applications on behalf of orphans to the government sponsored bursary program far outstripped the available funds.  The funds available met less than half of the need.  Some of our applications were amongst those not funded and at the  Mustard Seed we are asking, “Do we stretch our limited funds to also cover school tuition fees?”  In early May we did pay the second quarter fees for one girl in a special situation.  A few days later she shows up at my house.  She reports that her primary school principal has found a private donor.  Yesterday I was able to speak with the donor's contact in Lesotho.  Indeed this donor (from Germany!!!) is prepared to cover the tuition and exam fees for this Mustard Seed girl for her five years of high school!  The Mustard Seed will continue to provide support as well as funds for uniforms, school supplies and some school related activities.

God is not limited by my lack of faith, and I wonder if he chuckles at my amazement that resources for one of our Mustard Seed girls is coming from somewhere I had never anticipated, Germany.  

"Provide school fees ourselves for girls not accepted for the government bursary."  This was one of our board members thoughts on where God was leading us.  With German resources covering the fees of one girl, the Mustard Seed can now "provide school fees" for the last of our girls not approved for the government bursary this year.

Ah, but yet I doubt.  Do I declare that this is the hand of God showing me he is able to provide?  What if he does not provide next time?  Or what if the Mustard Seed steps out 'in faith' and funds more girls next school year and then runs out of money?  Lord, "help thou mine unbelief!" (Mark 9:24).

Lord, when I see the new and fancy cars zipping by and I despair and lapse into discouragement, may I not forget that you still care, and may I have the faith to beleive that you are able to provide for those struggling in Lesotho.  Lord, help thou mine unbelief!!

~ Benno ~