Belonging ...

When does one begin to feel that they are truly part of the lives of those they meet in a new culture? When does one begin to feel that they belong? I do not know if I will ever fully know the answer to these questions, but last week a couple of things happened that left me feeling that maybe I am beginning to belong, to be a part of the lives of some of the folks I have met here.

The first one was sad. A woman we know gave me a piece of paper on which she had written part of her life’s story, a story that speaks graphically of the traumas and violations that the girl orphan here in Lesotho too often experiences - a story she had shared previously with no one. The second incident, which I will relate here, was of a much lighter nature.

There is a young woman who has become very much a part of our lives. Last Sunday she and her son Thabang were over. During the course of the afternoon Bokang, the young woman, asked me if we had a hair clipper. There is a somewhat specialized clipper I have seen used here to shave the heads of children and men. Thinking that was what she meant, I told Bokang that yes, I had a big clumsy clipper, but that probably was not what she was looking for. I was wrong. She said it would do just fine. But that was not all I was wrong about!!

I was expecting Bokang would use the clippers to shave Thabang’s hair. It was a shock and surprise when she asked me to shave her head!! One doesn’t just ask anyone to cut his or her hair. So while somewhat nervous, I felt honored to shave Bokang’s head. Since I am not a hairdresser, I took it that she accepted me as a family member to let me touch her head in that way. (And by way of encouragement, after I had finished she offered that I should open a barber shop).

So while feeling I am beginning to belong to a community here in Lesotho, my inventory of skills is also expanding. I am now cutting women’s hair. If anyone there is interested I can offer my services when home this summer, though the number of styles I can offer is, shall we say, limited. ☺

~ Benno ~