Rest and Rejuvenation

We are just back from a brief holiday away from Lesotho. It was a break I needed. For three months I had been covering 2, sometimes 3, roles at Beautiful Gate and I had been feeling a bit weary. At the end of each day I pretty well just sat and read some news or did something else that was not particularly creative nor mind challenging. But folks are returning to Beautiful Gate from their leaves and furloughs and when I return to work on 25 August, the pace and task should be less demanding. I will then have no excuses about lacking the energy to respond to e-mails or to compose a blog entry on a more regular basis. I am way behind in providing some updates on what is happening for me here in Lesotho.

Our holiday included a few days at the Indian Ocean. We stayed at a rustic but wonderful place where we pretty much had 4-5 kilometers of beautiful sandy beach shared only with a host of little crabs who would go scrambling down to the surf at the first sight of our silhouettes on their horizon.

Nothing but sand and ocean.

The location was a nature reserve with some friendly wildlife, and one day we took a 14 kilometer walk with the animals. The highlight from the walk was probably getting up close and personal with a number of giraffe who looked down on us with interest and curiosity.

A camp visitor

We also found time and places to explore, including some hiking in the mountains.

Just one of many sandstone overhangs, this one a large one.
That is Wendy at centre stage.

The landscapes here are so different from the Rockies and I am enjoying exploring in them. The sandstone landscapes offer generally easy hiking and many interesting shapes.

How does nature do that?
(The sandstone, that is ...)

The ancient lava flows have less intrigue, and are much tougher to reconnoiter. One thing I learned is that I may have to increase my level of physical activity as I am finding myself puffing more along the trail, and a bit more weary at the end of a day of hiking. Another change, maybe a reflection of age, is that I enjoy the challenge of route finding as much or more as reaching the goal.

A view from the top.

Dylan joined us for the last couple of days. It was good to catch up with him regarding his trip home, and to also do a couple of hikes with him.

Dylan hanging around under the largest
sandstone overhang in the Southern Hemisphere.

It is spring here, and the early flowers are out. We have peach blossoms in our yard, and also found many flowers along the paths and trails.

One of many flower pictures taken by Dylan.

At the risk of offending my Alberta friends, the last fall rose on our rose bush bloomed in mid-June, and the first peach blossoms were out the first or second day of August. Seven weeks of "winter"!!

A 'Zulu Straight Back' amidst the blossoms.

Wendy had her hair done up in an African style and received numerous compliments from many local women along the way. Her "Zulu Straight Back" style even had folks pointing from a distance, waving, and giving her the thumbs up sign.

We enjoyed many sights, including the elusive eland. The eland is a large herbivore about the size of an elk. We were able to capture the cow on film but the bull stayed out of sight for all but a few moments and then he was off and away.

Elund cow.

Another sight - gas is pricey here too, and some folks are downsizing.

Suicide doors!!

These two are vintage BMWs. The two tone in circa 1958.
They do have two wheels, tucked close
together, at the back.

It was just what I needed, a restful and rejuvenating time away.

Benno

A year in a life

Well, here it is August already and we have been here in Lesotho for just over a year now. How does one measure a year in a life? In lots of small and large ways, that when it comes down to writing about, they all just seem mundane or trite—just everyday—but truly (maybe because I’m so darn analytical) the trivial always adds up to a lot of things that I mull around in my head and they become the big issues of life, mainly about relationships...

Sometimes I am challenged to avoid a developing jadedness. How do I explain this? I want to be WITH people not to be USED BY people, and sometimes, being white, it seems like relationships with people here are often about what you can give and not who you truly are. That’s a tough, tough statement, but, truthfully, it is something I am currently struggling with. An example of this is that in Sesotho makgowa, the name given to white people, does not belong in the ‘people’ but the ‘things’ category. What does that suggest about relationships?

Relationships can be so complicated here because there is such an imbalance and such inequity. Yes, I am guaranteed a certain standard of living just because of where I come from and the color of my skin, and it really isn’t ‘fair’, so to what extent do I have a responsibility to even the balance? Tough question. No easy answer. Living in Alberta, relationships were easier because there everyone can have a job and opportunities are much closer to equal. I never—never felt guilty in Canada for what I had. Here I do often. I question my purchases and often think in terms of how much of a day’s wage for the average Basotho the item is.

It’s complicated a lot of the time here, if I dwell on it, like when the little street urchins stand outside the grocery store and beg for money. The easy way of appeasing my guilt over the inequity is to hand them a few coins; but what am I solving? Am I not just creating a plethora of other potential problems? Am I not just being exploited by them? Trust me, that happens a lot to makgowa (white people) here. Sometimes I see this exploitation happening and it feels like I’ve been kicked in the gut. When little kids come into the grocery store, even, and ‘plague’ the white shoppers and ignore some equally well-off Basotho who they know they will not sucker for even a small coin… When people ignore all the Basotho and head straight for the white person as they walk down the street and ask that person for a job or some money… When people like Michelle who gave so much to help a young lady at MIS is asked—the last time she sees this young woman—for yet one more THING. Not, “I will miss you; your friendship has meant so much to me; not “I appreciate your help,” but, “You should give me…”

And it’s tough here because saying thank you is not as ready a part of this culture as it is in Canada. Often when one gives, one does not hear a thank you. I can prepare meals for my Basotho friends who will seldom say thank you. That does not mean they hated the food or that they are ungrateful, but it just seems that way when it happens time and again. Again, it’s kind of like when we go to the bank to get out money. Of course we don’t say thank you to the bank machine. Ouch! Now that shows the extent of my struggle and my potential for jadedness!

Then there’s the communication barrier. Although this is a dual-language country, with English as one of the official languages, Sesotho is still the language of choice; and if I REALLY want to become ‘at home’ here that is the language I need to acquire. Oftentimes I just wish I knew Sesotho really well and maybe sometimes I would not let on just so that I could partake in the conversations around me…like Saturday when I sat in a busy, busy salon for 3.5 hours having my hair braided and the whole time, other than the few words that were exchanged between myself and my hairdresser, I only heard about five English words. There was this constant buzz of conversation around, and possibly at times, about me, and not more than a few words I could understand. It is an isolating—very isolating—feeling, to be WITH so many people, but not to be OF them…

But, I cannot expend a ton of energy analyzing this or I become discouraged, uncertain and ineffective.

…yes, relationships: The thing is, though, despite the challenges of relationships, the people here are lovely, warm and friendly, and my students are still the center of that feeling for me. Several have been dropping by or have been in touch by email and it has been good to see them, and to offer help or suggestions on their ongoing work projects. This is help that is not demanded or expected by them, but freely offered by me, given because we have a relationship that I’m comfortable with. I do like my students, and because Maseru is such a small city, almost every time I am in town I see at least one or two. With the students, it’s just always about exchanging ideas or a pleasant greeting, not about exploiting this makgowa for money or food…

…and, despite my negative comments about thank-you’s I have not been totally fair. We have some friends, like my student whom I was able to find the scholarship for, who are effusive in their thanks and who overwhelm me with their thankfulness ;-)

…then there are the other friendships we are building and I am so grateful for those relationships that are just about spending time together and enjoying each other’s company. In addition to our Basotho friends, my colleague, Flesba, whom I can vent to because she’s makgowa/Basotho having lived here for over forty years; there are Dean and Sarah (just a joy to spend time with—comfortable people); Andy, a delightful young Irish fellow with a wonderful heart for kids, who came and watched a movie with me and just visited…

But, this is enough. This has become a long (kind of) diatribe which was not the intent when I started! I think I’m just going through some cultural adjustment and will work my way through all this relational ‘stuff’.

Meanwhile, I’m crazy sitting here when I could be out enjoying another fantastic African August day. Winter’s grip has loosened upon the land here. The peach trees are blooming—ALREADY! The weather is so fabulous here in August, and good for the spirit…

The Challenge of Families

What is a family? Yesterday Benno and I had a family over to visit, and the occasion caused me to pause a bit and think. Here is a quick description of this family.

Our friend, Ntate Kuena, lives out in the village about three hours drive from Maseru because he is a farmer and that is where he is attempting to make some sort of living for the family.

With him, currently, live his two small daughters and a young niece who is orphaned (the youngest sister of Ntate's wife). When Ntate K is working, the children are cared for by his father who is retired. The grandfather also cares for two small sons of Ntate K's sister who is teaching in another village many hours away...

Ntate K's wife, 'M'e Malibuseng, lives here in Maseru in a very small house. She is going to school to upgrade her marks so that she can apply to the nursing program at the local university. In addition, she has been working at the infamous orphanage about which I have written on several occasions.

Yesterday when they came to visit it was Ntate Kuena, 'M'e Malibuseng, their youngest daughter and a younger sister of 'M'e's, who is eight months pregnant. She has been living in their home village with an aunt—a different village from Ntate K’s, but again about three hours away from Maseru. Now the family is trying to decide where she can live, who will care for her baby when it is born, and how they can support her to finish her Junior Certificate (high school). Ntate K’s concern is clear as he tells me this.

Such complicated family lives are so common here in Lesotho. Families take on huge, huge responsibilities for each other; really, they have very little choice. Without family networks here the social fabric of this country would not just be threadbare, as it currently is, but it would be totally decimated.

This is an unusual visit in that ‘M’e has excused herself as soon as she arrives. A friend of hers has met her along the way to our house. This friend is in crisis. She is a single parent of two small children. Unlike Ntate K’s family, however, this young woman’s family rejected her when she first became pregnant and they provide her no support. Her second child is the result of a rape and she is struggling with emotional detachment. Just finding resources and getting by is difficult enough; on top of that she carries the burden of a huge resentment towards this child so she tries to leave the baby at the orphanage. There she is given the threat that she will be reported to the police. She is stuck in a horrible situation; and, of course, just imagine what life is like for this poor baby who has done nothing to deserve this rejection.

‘M’e finally shows up quite a few hours later and I warm up lunch for her. She’s had quite the day. She has more than enough dealing with the needs of her own family, but she takes time to provide counsel to a friend in need.

Typical situations here. Another one is our young friend next door, Bokang. Her aunt and uncle next door were finding it a real burden to support her, so she had moved to live with another uncle and aunt. There she was welcomed by these two warm and caring people. Unfortunately, that uncle became unemployed. They already care for Bokang’s ten-year-old bother along with their own children (all of whom live in a tiny bedroom-sized house). After a big family meeting on Friday, Bokang was informed that she would have to move back to live with her uncle and aunt that live next door to us. She is sad about this—it cannot be easy living with people who really don’t want you, and it cannot be easy leaving such warm and cheery people as her other uncle and aunt, but she has no choice in the matter. Bokang sends Benno a text message explaining and asking if we can help her move her things. She expresses her frustration in the situation and resolves to get her education so that she can have some control over her life, and that of her son’s.

Then, I think of a colleague of mine whose brother died leaving two teenage daughters in her care. She's about my age. Her children are grown, like mine, and now she has two more daughters to care for and to support financially. My colleague and her husband had started to make plans toward retirement; now those plans have had to change. Again, a very common scenario here.

There is a term in Lesotho: orphan fatigue. This is where families are so burdened and overburdened due to the large number of orphans that they cannot physically, emotionally or financially handle any more. Unfortunately, this can lead to neglect or abandonment. It certainly does lead to many children and young people living in situations where they feel no love and know that they are a burden on those who are providing support. Such is the case for one of my students who is an orphan...

But, truly, I could go on and on. There are an endless number of examples of families living under duress. Families have so many challenges here in Lesotho.

Good Byes

Well, the gals are gone and by now they will be on the last wing of their journey back to Canada. Yesterday I took them and their moms and a cousin (all of whom had been over for the last 17 days)to the airport and we said our goodbyes.

I will miss Annie and Michelle. They were great quasi-daughters and provided lots of life and laughter in our home here.

These are some pictures taken during a recent hike to Thaba Bosiu.

MICHELLE...


ANNIE...



A prayer for Annie and Michelle

God I am so glad that you are everywhere
because I know that while you are here
you are also there
with Annie and Michelle.

Thank you for being with them as they
begin another journey
grieving--the separation process
and the reintegration stages.

It will not be easy for them
But, God, you are the sustainer.
Help them to take all their strength
their joy
their life
and their laughter
and focus it on adjusting
back.

And, Lord, thank you that you
continue to lead them,
that you are the master weaver
and the designs you have for their lives
are beautiful, just as you have made them beautiful.

And this small section of the bigger tapestry
this time in Lesotho
is but a piece...
so give them peace.

More Challenges

POWER! Quite a word that. Now that load-shedding has arrived in Lesotho, I fully appreciate the concept of electricity being POWER. When it's out--when you've come to rely on it--you can feel quite...powerless indeed!

Last week I'd invited Mamoruti, along with Tokiso, Andy, Sarah and Dean, over for dinner. Who are these people? Well...

Mamoruti: going to UBC in August on scholarship, as previously mentioned

Tokiso: a brilliant young Masotho who was in the top (I think 5 or 10)academically in the country, so was given a full scholarship to Lester B. Pearson United World College on Vancouver Island where he's been for the past two years. He's the Masotho pro on adjusting to Canadian life and culture, so he was going to give Mamoruti his insights. (He's now off on full scholarship to Brown University.) An inspiration he is!

Andy: Sarah and Dean's neighbor and volunteer at Mavis' Orphanage.
Sarah and Dean: Tokiso was Sarah's language teacher before he left and they are great friends. Dean is Sarah's husband.

So, there are the people connections. A house full of company coming and the power goes out at 4:00 p.m. No problem, I think, I'll just wait until 5:30ish. If no power, I'll order pizza. Mamoruti shows up. No power still at 5:30 so I phone Scooter's Pizza. Their power is out too. Oh, oh... Hmmm.

I phone Sarah. "Do you have power?" Yes they do! So I beg the use of their kitchen, Mamoruti and I pack up all the food, and we head two blocks down to Sarah and Dean's. Tokiso is already there so the two start visiting while I get the food going.

I start the process, only to have the power go out there. Dinner must go on, so I keep cooking. On one side of me is Andy and on the other is Sarah. Each of them is holding a candle so I can see what I'm cooking. We chat; we visit; we laugh over the craziness of the situation. No power is kind of nice, socially.

Now, when I cook, I like to do the feast thing, so I’ve made dough for fresh rolls. Not to be deterred I make one batch—at least enough for dinner—and when ready, those get popped in Sarah and Dean’s tiny oven. Meanwhile, on the stove top, all four burners are ready to go. Great care is needed to ensure a wrong move doesn’t send one of the pans flying onto the floor. This is one tiny stove. No margins for error.

Dinner is finally done, served, and the power comes back on at some point in the process.

Ah, power! These outages are becoming common here. At least once per day we are out, and it’s still somewhat random in our neighborhood. And we are fortunate. The downtown business core has regular outages each morning approximately 9-noon. Just imagine what that does to business.

Just ask me. I spent two days sitting in a freezing cold hair salon getting my hair plaited…but that’s another story.

Meanwhile, dinner’s cooking once again. This time WITH power…so far, anyway. This time Annie, Michelle, their mom’s their cousin and Sarah and Dean will join us. Ah, the first one has arrived—Oh, it’s Benno. Time to go check dinner!

Construction Zone!

Ah yes, here we are in the midst of a ...





Well...a new fence is the BONUS...I think







But, you know, it's all about perspective...

Despite the mess that our yard is in right now, and despite the fact that all the lovely work that had been done to make flower beds was demolished in this process, we are REALLY, REALLY glad to be living here in our cozy home.

It's been a journey! The end of May we got notice that our landlord was selling the house to his daughter. (She'd supervised the renovations we'd asked to have done, saw the house, and decided she really liked it and wanted to buy it...) Suddenly we were tossed into the air and looking about for a place to live. That's not easy here. There are few places, and the rents are very high--very high relative to the quality of the place. The hunt began and we looked at a few and were given rent quotes on others that left me breathless; then on Friday I was taken out to the boonies to see yet one more (YIKES best sums up that one!) only to be officially informed by our new landlady that she would NOT be moving in after all, since her husband-to-be is taking a job in another country. That means we get to stay! Life is good. We love our anthracite heater that keeps the house warmer than most. I'll live with the yard mess...at least for a bit longer.

Pink Baby

Today Annie and Michelle are grieving
and I grieve with them
as I remember you
the most gorgeous
little doll dressed
all in pink
laying so quietly in your crib

Something about your perfect beauty
etched its way into my memory
You have haunted me little one
since that first moment I saw you
I kept thinking of you
with a family
happy...growing...healthy

or more realistically
realizing--knowing the truth
that you had been condemned to
orphanage life
dropped on the doorstep
of this unregulated place
where children come and rarely leave

This is no place for babies
especially the fragile ones
Only the very strong survive
And for what?
They can't be adopted because
usually there are no records--
So they stay and grow up in this place
where the older ones are
already in their twenties
and opportunities are so few
so what do they do?

Would I ever wish that for you?
Life here is a horrible paradox
To have been released from the hardship
is no hardship
You are in a better place
Where your beauty will never fade

Pink flower you bloomed on earth
but you will blossom in heaven




THIS SOUNDS LIKE A HORRIBLE PACIFYING PLATITUDE, EVEN NOW AS I READ IT, BUT IF I CAN'T HOPE IN THIS, I'M NOT SURE I COULD SURVIVE HERE VERY WELL. THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH DIFFICULTY.