Life is a journey. We are taking ours one step at a time. Where the journey may lead, we don't know, but our desire is to follow, step by step, wherever our Maker leads...
Monday, 22 February 2010
The great dilemma
In my current situation, I am getting personally involved in the lives of my students—often—and this is my only answer:
I do recall some sage advice I received a while back when someone suggested that he had learned, in his study of psychology, that it is important to help people but not to get personally involved. There is wisdom in this advice—I cannot deny that—because common sense would tell us that it would be so easy to get ‘burned out’ emotionally by getting too involved in the lives of all the people we serve, but I have come to see things somewhat differently. Although I realize that the advice is sound, and that it would be impossible emotionally to take on the burdens of many, that, as a Christian, God calls me to get personally involved in the lives of at least some.
What would have happened if God had decided, “We need to help out these people that we’ve created, so go do what you can, Jesus, but don’t get too personally involved”? The ultimate sacrifice was to get totally personally involved by having Christ Jesus go through the ultimate experience of pain. He took on all of human pain in the ultimate experience of human suffering: his death on the cross.
The weight of sin’s result leads to every form of human suffering. When people say to me, “How could a God of love allow such an extent of human suffering as we see on this earth?” my response is that God did not create human suffering; God did create people will a free will and hence we have chosen to create suffering for ourselves—it is the pain that we bring upon ourselves and each other through our choices that is the epitome of all suffering.
Hence comes the cross. As a pacifist, I have always—always—struggled with a God of love requiring such a horrific sacrifice, but I have finally come to understand. It is the ultimate act of showing personal involvement that a God who is totally pure and who does not need to carry any of our pain, should take on every bit of it—should be totally personally involved. How else could a God of love show love for us? If He had done anything less, there would be people who could TRULY say, “God could not possibly relate to what I’m going through. Where is God in this?”
So, following this example, when Jesus instructs: “Take up my cross, daily, and follow me,” the implication is that I DO get personally involved in the pain of others, and not just when I have time or when it is appropriate, but daily, when the pain confronts me. The pain of others IS the cross that Jesus speaks of because that is what He took on. There is no other way to explain this instruction of Christ.
But there is a paradox in this pain because as Christ gives us this instruction, He also promises to send us a Comforter as we carry these loads of pain. What I am discovering is that this promise is so true! It seems to me that as I see the pain and suffering that others bear, these are the crosses of Jesus that I am called to carry—to offer to bear at least some of the weight with my brothers and sisters on this earth. According to psychology, carrying others crosses would not be wise, would it? Yet the paradox I discover is the mystery of the Holy Spirit’s empowering. If I DON’T take up these crosses daily and follow Christ, in my life I experience far more pain that if I DO help to carry the burdens of others. Yes, there is no doubt that the loads are heavy but that somehow the act of helping to carry brings a sense of peace. It is strange, perhaps, but with all the extent of my direct involvement in my student’s lives and in the lives of others around me, I have a much greater sense of fulfillment and peace.
Perhaps it is partly because, how else could I ever answer the question, “Where is God in all of this?” If I can see, feel, and say that God is with US—in US--that we are His hands and feet—his arms to reach out and wrap around those in pain—then I at least have an answer to that question. The answer is that WE have created pain through our choices—we are stuck with pain as long as we live on this earth, but through the perfect example of Jesus, we have been shown a better way through this pain-filled existence--that we are called to help each other and as we do so, the pain is lessened for them and for us. It is through this relationship of love that we cope.
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Adventure and Perspective
Monday, 8 February 2010
Moving Forward
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Storms and Stillness
Storms of adversity, storms of uncertainty, storms of injustice...all around me.
I'm so frustrated for my students as they continue to face hurdle after hurdle after hurdle in their pursuit of further education. How can it be so difficult? Why does everything have to be so difficult for so many people here?
Stumbling block post-secondary systems here are so inefficient that students don't find out if they are accepted at institutions until it is too late to complete all the paperwork to get them to classes on time, to get them into residence.
Stumbling block institutions here don't bother to respond to email questions--don't bother to respond to telephone calls, or that just give students the run-around.
These systems that may finally respond after a student has taken a huge risk of traveling long distances to meet face to face. When faced with a REAL student, these institutions finally respond. Meanwhile these students spend over a month of their wages just to make this trip...
Then there's the poverty that has been a stumbling block for quite a few all along. They can't afford to apply to very many institutions so that limits their options. They can't afford to do a lot of things that would sooth the path.
Then there's this funding system and the High Commission that requires every T to be crossed and every i dotted. You can't apply for funding until you have admission from an institution and those come late, then you can't apply for a study permit until you have proof of funding which you don't get until it is almost--almost too late, and it IS too late to get down for registration or to claim your spot in residence... You can't get a study permit until you have proof of medical coverage which you can't get because you can't pay for it until you get funding... It just goes round and round and round, and at this time it is making me so frustrated and discouraged on behalf of my students, so frustrated as they come to me for help and I just feel so often so powerless...
Coming from a system, in Canada, where we believe in reducing barriers to success and access, and coming to a system that just places mammoth stumbling blocks in the way of students...
They are getting there, though. They are tough! But once there the stumbling blocks and frustrations don't end--not by a long-shot. There's the post-secondary institutions in a post-apartheid era that haven't really figured out that having white, Afrikaaner students conducting juvenile initiation activities on black students--screaming at them in Afrikaans and whipping them...just is totally politically ignorant and inhumane. To have these same institutions TEACH students who don't speak Afrikaans in that language is...well let's just say that is a very evident barrier to success for students who are paying the same tuition as Afrikaans speaking students, so go figure. I can't. I've tried to make sense of this in my mind and I am just reduced to storms of frustration.
Then there's the students who don't have their funding from the government yet and they have no--I mean no--financial resources so they have no text books and...it goes on.
So...I'm listening to this music right now and the lyrics happen to be...
The ocean so deep, the mountain so high
O Lord, You are the master of wind and tide...
Hide me in Your heart, O Lord...
Still the wind and calm the storm
Hide me in Your heart
Irony? Maybe, or maybe my divine God just knows everything!
I'm reminded that God says to me, "Be still and know that I am God."
I just need to be still and trust that God IS in control of all the storms of life.
I just need to put these storms into the perspective of a wider picture and
a wider scope of time and space.
After all, this place we are all in together--this life--is a place of storms and uncertainty.
So I guess I just need to decide if I will let the storm sweep over me and pull me down
or if I will rest in the One who stills the storms of life.
Friday, 11 December 2009
So many things...
Thursday, 10 December 2009
Wrestling with God
There is this story in the Bible about the patriarch Jacob wrestling with God, a story with a somewhat obscure meaning. For the last while I feel that I have been wrestling, or at least arguing, with God. It is an ongoing argument.
What does God demand of his followers? I personally like what the disciple John offers - “to believe in the name of [God’s] Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another.” Sounds simple enough. John isn’t asking too much, at least not in terms of a long list. So why is God always poking and prodding me, suggesting something more. Is his really a longer list? Or is he simply suggesting that there is more to John's seemingly simple statement than I want to know, or accept.
Maybe “believing in the name of [God’s] Son” entails more than just acknowledging that Jesus somehow arrived on this earth, died as my substitute, and then rose again before returning to heaven. This is a bizarre story, but I can believe it privately, right? No one else really needs to know. Unfortunately there seems to be this little matter that ‘believing in the name of the Son’ entails believing what he said. That is where it gets tougher, and where I am having my arguments with God.
This Son said, “Do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; … or wear” or where you will live. Just “follow me”. “Trust me.”
- So what about prudence, planning, being responsible and accountable with the things I have been given in this life?
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.”
- That’s right, and tomorrow will have a lot more troubles if I am not prudent, nor prepared, nor, above all, responsible.
"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
- Just walk away from everything I have worked for?!? Everything I have saved up? Just let go of it all? I left a good job, I am still giving, and you are suggesting I give even more - everything! That is ludicrous!! People will think I am crazy, or worse, foolish!
Yes, that may be is true, but “the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.” So,
"If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
- God I did that once when I was a kid. I quit school, gave away everything, and went off to join the Jesus People. I ended up in a cult. I had to run away with what clothes I had left, stuffed in a bag.
Yes, but remember how I was with you even then, and that a few years later you graduated from university without a dollar owed in student loans. And after university you never wanted for a job, and your needs were met.
- That was then. I was young. Now I am older. Jesus, you are asking too much.
So you don’t trust me. You really don’t believe that I came so that you “may have life, and have it to the full.”
- I am afraid. I am afraid of what others might think. And yes, I don’t trust you. I don’t trust you will fully provide, at least not materially.
And so the argument goes.
I think that God puts us in circumstances, not because he needs our talents or abilities there, but because it is in those circumstances that we are better able to hear him and hopefully learn the lessons he is asking us to learn. Africa has been so good to me. Experiences, people I have met, situations - all have been sources of blessing that have enriched my life in ways I would never have known had I remained secure where I was. Yet, it seems that I have more lessons to learn, more lessons in letting go and trusting God, especially in the area of financial security.
Jacob came out of his wrestling with God worse for it, at least physically. He walked with a limp afterwards, and his descendents would not eat a certain part of an animal’s hip muscle in recognition of what Jacob lost in his struggle with God. Yet God seems to have loved and esteemed Jacob in and for his struggle, because he then blessed Jacob. With acknowledgements to Rob Bell, maybe that is what Jesus was announcing when he said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” – blessed are the losers, the doubters, the arguers, those who are struggling, the ‘just can’t get it right spiritually’ crowd. You are blessed Jesus says, because is it just for such as you that I have come to bring hope and blessing, and to give the kingdom.
I am still wrestling, but it seems there is yet hope for such as I.
~ Benno ~
Friday, 4 December 2009
Roof of Africa
One day Sunday it was a local bank having a customer appreciation day, and we were awakened by the workman erecting tents and speakers and other activity centres on the sports field. Of course, one of the first things they got set up was the loud speaker system and we were treated to a mix of raucous early morning music, later interspersed with speeches and the shrieks of children enjoying the various games and activities.
Another day is was accordion music. I have heard that at some point in the past the accordion was almost considered the national instrument. It was a keyboard that could be taken almost anywhere and didn’t require an electrical outlet. So we listened to African rhythms played on the accordion for most of that day. For the most part it has been enjoyable to experience the pulse of the culture from this new current vantage point, notwithstanding the sometimes-blocked drive, the garbage left behind, and the odd fight outside our fence; the fights that seem to inevitably follow when males and too much alcohol combine.
On another day it was the roar of motor cross.

The “Roof of Africa” is one of the most grueling motocross races in the world. I spoke to one competitor who noted he has entered the race eight times previously, but has only completed the course on two occasions.

It has been included in the recently announced World Xtreme Enduro Championship series. One thing extreme motocross is not, is an easily accessible spectator sport. They head into the mountains of Lesotho on trails that sometimes require bikes be pushed and dragged over, so unless one is willing to hike back into the mountains or unless one is a local herd boy, the best chance of seeing the bikes is a brief race around town on the first day of the competition.

A local rider and crowd favorite.
The staging area for this around town race was the sports field out front of our house, and the short races that followed to establish starting position for the real race, went right past our house. So, for somewhat different reasons, there was no coming or going in our car for part of this day, but I did have a front row seat for the start of the Roof of Africa.

No crash or safety barriers between the spectators and action here.
If interested in some of the race action, just click on pictures for a link to more pictures like the one below.
(I can not take credit for this photo.)
Upcoming is ‘Summa Feva’, an annual bash with loud music, bands, hordes of young people, and a reputation for all things wild and unruly. After last year’s fiasco, with things wild and unruly taken to some extremes, the organizers have eschewed an evening/night event. ‘Summa Feva’ this year starts at 11:00 a.m., and winds up at 7:00 p.m., an all daylight event. We will need to decide whether to weather the storm, or get out early and spend the day somewhere else.
Yes, it is noisy, and I miss the frogs and crickets (the folks whose house we are in actually have an alarm clock that one can set to play the sounds of frogs and crickets during the night). But, we are seeing and hearing another side of the culture. We can look forward to an ever changing adventure outside our gate for the next seven months.
~ Benno ~
