Reflections at Six Months

The months pass by. I have gotten busy, maybe too busy. So, where am I after six months.

I don’t notice things as much anymore. Things that initially I would say, “Wow, I need to take a picture of that, or write about that for the folks back home.” So many things are just now part of my daily experience, part of the routine. H’mm, is that good or bad. Maybe I am just tired. The last three months have been very busy months for me. Other senior staff had been away for much of that time and I was carrying extra responsibilities. It was important to be available to staff for them to bounce ideas off, but for me who needs my time alone to re-energize it has been tiring. Maybe that is part of not noticing things, or having the energy to write things.

After six months I have also realized that God can and does use us just as we are. I look about, at myself and others, and you know we are a rather motley crew. I often idealized individuals who went to far countries to work or serve. But really, we are not so ideal. We come as we are, a combination of strengths and weaknesses. Shining so brightly one moment, and the next mucking up, but through it all God is moving his kingdom forward. As I look around my context, God is using the motley expatriate crew I am part of here in Lesotho to see that babies are being cared for, widows are being helped, doctors are flown into remote villages, street kids are finding connection, and hungry people fed. So while I often feel inadequate and annoyed, witnessing some of the insensitive things I and others do and say, God continues to be bigger than us all, and he is doing his work.

I have found too, that life here is not a lot different than back in Canada. My lifestyle is actually very similar to back home. We have been blessed with a very comfortable home. We keep busy have our routines. Work is almost exactly what I was doing back in Alberta. The stores provide the basics so we have most everything we need. Yes, service is sometimes lacking, and to find "out of the ordinary things" that one needs, may mean visiting many stores. On the whole though, people are a bit more friendly here. And yes, we hear of crime and the dark side of society, but nothing a whole lot different than what I read in the news from home. And then, technology keeps us well connected with family and friends. Maybe because Wendy and I moved about from place to place in northwestern Alberta so often, Lesotho often feels like just one more move. Oh, one difference are the warmer temperatures, that I find more tiring. For most of the past month it has been in the mid to high 20Cs every day.

I am also realizing more and more that life is about people and relationships, not things and accomplishments. Sometimes I wish I had less admin work to do at Beautiful Gate and just had more time to invest in relationships and in people. One of the constant cautions I hear is that I need to be careful - people will just expect more; what I do for one, another will expect; there is need everywhere and it will overwhelm me. While there is certainly an element of truth in those cautions, for me to not invest in people is to miss the essence of what God is asking of me, to live in relationship – with him and those around me, and mostly around me here, are Basotho, complete with all their needs.

So, where am I after six months. As our recent Australian house mate noted, the work we do is only a means, an avenue, to build relationships, and to serve others. More and more that is where I want to be. No, I can never meet the overwhelming need of this impoverished country and its people, but I can enter into relationship with those that God specifically brings across my path. Yes, that will mean an investment in both time and money but we are also learning that we cannot out give God. The more we seem to share materially with our Basotho friends, the more God has raised up friends and family who are sharing in and supporting our work. I look forward to the next six months. I think they are going to be pretty exciting and pretty rewarding as we throw caution a bit to the wind, and look for ways to engage with and invest in relationships.


~ Benno ~

(P.S. Did I also mention that I have learned that -30C, or even -25C, is not even on the radar here. ☺ )